Is anyone else getting repeatedly bombarded with Direct Messages from total strangers? 🤔
Yes, we’ve all seen the resurgence of the instant sales pitch that follows a connection request acceptance (dude, slide away from my DMs).
But how about the repeated sales pitch? It goes a little something like this:
- Message 1 – I’m looking forward to seeing more of your content!
- Message 2 – Thanks for connecting! I like to give value to my new connections, so here’s a link to something I’ve done. You really need to see this.
- Message 3 – did you click on my link? Did you like it? Tell me what you liked about it. Oh, and here’s more stuff I’ve done…
- Message 4 – just checking you got my last message. I need your opinion on my stuff!
- Message 5 – just checking you got my last message (again, because you haven’t replied to me yet). I still need your feedback. You’re ignoring me, so I guess you’re very busy at the moment! Oh, and how are you?
I hope you were eye-rolling along with me as you read that.
The Shallow Dive
Let’s do a shallow dive (because, honestly – there’s no depth here) into why these messages are just plain old irritating.
Message 1 – I’m looking forward to seeing more of your content!
Ok, this isn’t too bad. You’re flattering me by telling me that you like my existing content. I like flattery – who doesn’t?! But, I can see that you’ve never interacted with any of my posts. Ever. So actually, your flattery is completely insincere, and we’re already off on the wrong foot.
Message 2 – Thanks for connecting! I like to give value to my new connections, so here’s a link to something I’ve done. You really need to see this.
Suddenly, it’s all about you. How do you know that I desperately need to see that thing that you did one time? You’ve not even asked me a question about myself or my business. How can you tell what I need? How can you give me value when you haven’t taken the time to find out?
You haven’t given me any reason to engage with your “value” beyond the fact that you want me to, and man – that’s really not enough.
Message 3 – did you click on my link? Did you like it? Tell me what you liked about it. Oh, and here’s more stuff I’ve done…
Dude, are you really giving me homework?! I haven’t even looked at the first thing you sent, and now you want even more time and attention from me?! Greedy and needy – the perfect combo! I’m sold – sign me up immediately, if not sooner…
Message 4 – just checking you got my last message. I need your opinion on my stuff!
Yes, I did get your last message. I suspect you already know that, given the “read” receipts that show up in most direct messenger services.
Message 5 – just checking you got my last message (again, because you haven’t replied to me yet). I still need your feedback. You’re ignoring me, so I guess you’re very busy at the moment! Oh, and how are you?
Yep. I’ve still seen your previous messages, and I still haven’t engaged with them. And guess what? I’m not going to. I won’t give you feedback on whatever it is you’re selling. That would involve me taking time away from my paying clients in order to do some work for you, for free. And, as you’ve stated, yes – I am very busy.
Message 5 arrived in just under 3 weeks after message 1, and it was the first time this person had asked anything about me.
Seriously, what’s in it for me?
I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again: we just LOVE to talk about ourselves. We all think that we are the most fascinating creatures ever. So, when someone offers us that opportunity because they are genuinely interested in what we have to say, we’re going to respond positively.
I’m aware that sometimes I talk “too much” in networking meetings. I very consciously try not to dominate discussions, because people don’t come networking just to hear my thoughts on any given topic. But, the biggest compliment I’ve had during networking is when someone I’d only met once previously told me that he loved to hear me talk.
Honestly, it was a struggle between remaining professional or offering to bear his future children…
Luckily (or not?), professionalism won out. But I can tell you this – if ever this chap needs my feedback on a project, or help with referrals, I’m going to offer it willingly; because he’s already given me something that I value highly, and I want to return the favour.
So, essentially: if you want to get into someone’s proverbial pants on LinkedIn, don’t make it all about you.
The next person who sends me an instant “pay attention to me” message will get a reply in the form of Pascal’s resting bitch face, like so:
Want to chat about how you can use LinkedIn as a relationship building tool?
Give me a call on 07446 968 992!